Until I began writing in earnest I never appreciated the old adage of multiplying like bunnies. Once the door was open to what I affectionately refer to as plot bunnies I had one hell of a bunny ranch on my hands. And no I’m not referring to the infamous Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Although to be honest there is a great deal of humping going on because the multiplying has increased rather than decreased over the years. *chuckles*
Contrary to popular belief the plot bunny can be anything other than cute and adorable. Yes, it has huge eyes, but then so did the Big Bad Wolf in Little Red Riding Hood. My point is once one of these darling little creatures is spawned from your imagination they can ride your ass to the point of insanity.
At first it just snuggles up to you and looks at you with those huge dark eyes and you think Awww…ain’t you just the most adorable lil’ thing? After a bit of time passes it gets more persistent not content just to lie there as you lovingly scratch its floppy silken ears. That cute pink nose becomes an annoying spork that is a constant poking where it shouldn’t at the most inappropriate times. Its teeny tines quite sharp for something that should be soft and wet.
Whether it’s minutes, hours, days, or even weeks the adorable fuzzy bunny that you once loved has now taken over your life. It has eaten everything in sight and grown so heavy it feels like a lead weight on your shoulder where it has decided to perch as if it is some huge fluffy, floppy-eared parrot. You try to ignore it, but this only results in you possibly losing a chunk of ear when it gets annoyed. At this point, you knock it off your shoulder, walk away from your computer and decide to distract yourself with something fun like laundry. The Bunny though is having none of that.
It follows you and watches you sort laundry and any other activity you might chose to pursue. Go for a jog in the park; there it is hiding behind each tree you pass. Go grocery shopping; there it is hidden among the heads of lettuce and bags of carrots in the produce aisle. Try watching a movie? Suddenly that giant lizard Godzilla has grown a coat of silky fur and is rampaging through your town instead of destroying New York or Tokyo.
Finally, you decide to sleep. After all how can a bunny haunt your dreams. Okay, that was a stupid question. Having one of those fantasy dreams about Clooney? Since when does George Clooney have long floppy ears and whiskers? Yes, the Bunny had to go there.
There is no sleep for the wicked–there never is. Just give in to the 50 ft Bunny. Do what it wants you to do and for God’s sake quit feeding the damn thing! If you don’t deal with it you might just find yourself caught in a nightmarish B-Movie from the 70’s running and screaming next to Janet Leigh. Have that with some carrots ummm…cookies and milk.