Well, look at this two days running. Who would have believed it. *snorts*
As you might have noticed from the title of this post it has been almost two weeks of depressing, overcast skies in my neck of the woods. Here’s something I never thought I’d read about the Mid-West…Tropical rainstorms. Yep, you heard that right. Tropical rainstorms. Well, at least that is what my AccuWeather app greeted me with this morning on my phone. To be honest the majority of today has looked as if I was in a bloody tsunami. At points the rain was coming down so damn hard it was impossible to see across the street to the park from my ground floor apartment windows.
This weather has been kind to the greenery, but has even depressed my constant furry feline companion. She’s been sleeping more than usual and when she is awake she’ll sit in the window watching the rain with a constant Well, fuck me expression. No birds, no squirrels, or bunnies in the lush green yard to eyeball as if it’s suppertime. She also gives me the occasional side eye as I stare forlornly at the blank Word doc on my laptop as if she thinks this entire rain thing is my fucking fault.
Hate to break it to you, kitten, last time I checked in the mirror I’m not Jesus and I sure in the hell cannot walk on water. If I were and I could my existence would sure as fuck be quite different. I suppose I could put in a request with the PTB (Powers that Be) for some possible preternatural powers, but that’s never worked before. Although, there is a Ziploc bag in my freezer now filled with a spell I cast that seems to have worked, but that’s a story for another day. I will say though, people be careful who you screw with cause a
witch bitch can only take so much before she needs a helpful hand from the PTB. LOL
As far as the writing goes those pesky Gods and Goddesses of yore have not felt the need to step in and point me in the right direction as of yet. Here’s the thing about my life as it stands in the here and now not to mention the past four years of wasted time. I’ve had ideas…Oh, my Goddess have I had ideas, but ideas are all I have. Ideas do not pay the bills or put food on the table. It’s not as if I’m an earning writer…sigh…bald writer perhaps if it keeps up, but that only solves the bad hair days.
Why give a lowly human talents and then drain their creativity? Yes, I’m looking at you annoying PTB! I used to love art. I was good enough to have a professor from a college tell me in high school if I could keep my grades up he could get me a partial scholarship. With the exception of a hand full of book covers (for my own books) and a couple of banners (all using Photoshop) I haven’t completed a single piece of original art in over a decade. As far as writing I’ve managed to complete a handful of short fan-fiction pieces over the past four years and the last one took me a fucking year to finish.
I used to write like the wind, thousands of words, on a regular basis. In the short period that I was a published writer (e-books) I finished two novels, two novellas, and two short stories. That was in a couple of years and now…well fuck me sideways with a chainsaw. Yeah, I’m still eyeballing you PTB. Doesn’t seem fair to tease a person and then ignore them when they beg for help in getting back on track.
Any semblance of a support network vanished long ago from my life. Yeah, I have friends but their lives are just as fucked as mine and they’ve drifted away as if no more than smoke on the wind. I’m not a Tumblr person, hell it scares the crap out of me in a way nothing has ever scared me in my 47 years. Maybe I’m just not able to let common courtesy, common sense, and the ability to research get in the way of life. It seems the eye of a maelström of drama and childish behavior. I left that kind of shit behind when I walked off the playground.
All I want is to find my way back from that dark, forbidding forest of lost dreams.